Sunrise, Sunset

I keep a lot of lists. Like, a ton of them. I have New Year's Resolutions that I make a good effort to keep, I make obsessive daily to-do lists, I keep an eye on the larger week-long and month-long goals, and just for fun, I often break my larger lists into smaller, more attainable lists that are project and/or task specific. But then there's my other list, the one that I go weeks, even months without ever thinking about or making progress on - it's cliché to say and almost passé to have, but I have a bucket list. Or rather, a Things To Do Before I Die list. I'm currently on Version #4 of this list - I made the first version in the basement of my childhood home when I was 13 after reading an entry by John Goddard in a Chicken Soup for the Soul book (don't judge - it was the 90's), and I pretty much copied his list but changed the nouns to suit my teenage taste.

Over the years I allowed myself to delete, add, and adapt some of the entries, and my current version has 101 items. By design, some of the goals are achievable with effort ("learn to juggle"), some I just need to get around to doing ("send a message in a bottle"), and others I know I may never accomplish but will nevertheless enjoy trying ("write an article for National Geographic"). Often times, I seek out experiences or actions that will allow me to cross something off this list - #12 is "see the Parthenon" and while I certainly didn't structure my entire honeymoon around my bucket list, it's not entirely accidental that one of our stops on our cruise will be to Athens. But there are other instances where I realize I accomplished something only after the fact, like the time the photographer got sick and I was the one to take all the publicity photos that got published in the New York Times ("#41 - have a photograph printed somewhere").

Serendipity graced me with her presence last week when I unknowingly checked off #96 - "see the sunrise and the sunset from the same spot on the same day". I was working an event in Cabo, Mexico that was in the middle of the gorgeous Baja dessert, but since I was on the clock, it was never a guarantee that I'd be able to catch even a glimpse of the sunset. As luck would have it though, the schedule was in my favor - my first major task of the evening wrapped up well before the sun started to set, and I was able to spend golden hour at dinner. After eating, it was time to check in back at the production tent (which coincidentally provided a pretty great view of the sunset that was starting to bloom), where I learned that my next task would be to deal with a dozen mini digital film projectors (long story). There's not much you can do with a projector while it's still light out, so I was able to soak in the entirety of the stunning sunset. I smiled, I snapped a couple of photos, and then I made for those projectors like it was my job (because it actually was).

By the end of the evening, I was feeling pretty good. The projectors had behaved exactly as I needed them to, and my boss let me have a celebratory cocktail during the last half hour of the event. But before I got too comfortable, I was reminded of our call time the next morning - we needed to be back on the property at 6am. Which wouldn't have been so terrible, except that it was nearing 1am by the time we were ready to go back to our hotel that was 20 minutes away from the event space.

A quick, three-hour nap later, we were back in the van and driving through the pitch-blackness of Mexican dessert roads. The good people at the entrance gate let our bleary-eyed selves in, and I found myself back at that stupid production tent (please note: I don't hate the production tent. I love the production tent. I was just reaaallllyyy tired). But then I noticed that things were changing. Specifically, it was getting lighter out - which I eventually realized is what happens WHEN THE SUN RISES!!! You have to understand something: I don't see a lot of sunrises in my day-to-day. I work in theater and production, and especially in the wintertime, I don't even leave for work until it's already dark out. But there I was, standing in the exact same spot I was in just 12 hours beforehand, watching the sun rise over the mountains. So I snapped a few more pictures, thanked the sun gods and goddesses, and got straight to work on packing up the mini projectors because the faster I finished strike the faster I could go back to bed.

Please note: I realize that my original entry in my List of Things to do Before I Die said "photograph the sunrise and the sunset from the same place on the same day" and that technically, my sunrise and sunset were from two different days. But whatever. I saw consecutive sun movements and since I'm the only one who actually cares about my list, I'm calling it a goal accomplished.   :)

On Fitbit, counting my steps, and going the extra mile in 2015

On January 1, 2015, I fastened my new Fitbit Flex to my wrist, taped a daily goal tracker to the inside of a kitchen cabinet, and proceeded to spend the rest of that New Year's day on the couch with nachos and movies. Then on January 2, 2015, I got off my butt and took the first of what would amount to over 2.5 million steps that year. I had set myself the goal of 10k steps/day, and I intended to at least try to hit my daily goal - but honestly, I assumed I'd forget all about my fitness tracker by February.

But in complete contrast to my initial expectations, Fitbit became my most favorite accessory. I grew to love that soft buzz on my wrist indicating when I'd hit 10k steps for the day, and I found myself not just taking an extra lap around the block, but getting off the subway three or four stops early in order to ensure optimal step opportunity. #steportunity.

If there were days in which I couldn't make it to the gym or organically hit my step goal (by going to work or running errands all over the city), I got in the admittedly bizarre habit of marching around my apartment while I watched whatever Netflix show I happened to be binging that week. It was strange at first, but by the summer even J didn't think it weird to have a conversation with me while I wildly swung my arms in the kitchen.

Obviously, I didn't reach my step goal every day of the year - in fact, there were 113 days in which I just couldn't get there. I don't think of these as excuses, but I did hit two rough patches - one in February where I literally had to stand quietly in place for hour after hour and take notes on a show (no chance of moving there), and one at the very end of December when I came down with a nasty sinus/bronchial thing and just getting off the couch was a struggle. Other than those two stretches of time and any travel day where I was stuck on a plane for half the day (because you really don't want to raise suspicion at an airport), my biggest hurdle was myself. I'm human, and there were some days when I'd look at my Fitbit and realize that I still needed another 4,000 steps but it was 10:45pm and I was already curled up on the couch and I just didn't want to move any more. The important lesson that I learned from those times, however, was to listen to my body and give it the time it needed. If I needed to take a day off, then so be it. I just made damn sure to be up and walking at the absolute next possible moment.

I will say that living in New York and working in the theater gives me a huge advantage in the Fitbit department. I realize that much of the country drives to work and then sits in a cubicle all day, whereas I have to walk half a mile just to get to the subway. Then, there are days when I don't sit down - at all - while in rehearsal or running a show. While there was a ton of self-determination that went into my year, I do have to give at least a little credit to my environment. It's an exhausting life sometimes, but it sure is nice to to hit 10k steps before 2pm without thinking twice.

As part of my larger plan to be #HalterTopHot by my wedding day (t-minus 10 months now), I'm Fitbitting for another full year, but the only change I noticed was when I took down 2015's goal tracker and taped up the one for 2016. Walking with the goal of hitting 10k steps is now second nature to me, and I can gauge to an almost scary accuracy where I am step-wise at any given point in the day. I realize that living Fitbitedly has slightly taken over my life, but that's ok - it was a quiet takeover, and one that has positive results. So here's to one year down and another year to go - and if you need me, I'll probably be circling the block one more time.

2016 new year's resolutions

I always say "I'm not one for New Year's resolutions," but honestly, I only say that because I think it's what I'm supposed to say, like I'm better than or have evolved from making resolutions. In reality, I love resolutions. They're giant goals that I can work towards achieving all year long, and I love nothing more than accomplishing medium-level challenges by breaking them down into small, attainable steps. And then I can check in on myself at various points over the year and grade myself on how I'm doing. I mean, who wouldn't love this process!

I'm trying something slightly new this year - a bunch of really specific, quantifiable goals. I've learned that I work best when given strict directions and parameters, and I realize that when I say things like "get healthier" I'm only setting myself up for failure because a) I never defined what I meant by "healthier' and b.) I didn't lay out the particular steps I'd take to get said healthier. In theory, this will allow me to plan ahead ("in June I will try ___ recipe") and not have too many surprises along the way. Although yes, I know, the best way to make God laugh is to tell her your plans, so we'll see how all this pans out.

Take 4 rolls of film
Analogue photography is not just a moderately expensive hobby (processing and printing a roll is around $15), it's also unpredictable and a bit cumbersome (I have to remember to bring my Diana or pinhole cameras in the first place, and then who knows what kind of pictures will actual come of them). The thing is though, when I do go on an analogue photo trek, I find such joy in the entire process and am often so happy with the results. So I'm evoking the spirit of Ansel Adams and embracing the unexpected and making a point to take 4 full rolls of film this year.

Choose 10 countries and read a book or play by a writer from each
I'm an avid reader, but I tend to read books written exclusively by American or British writers. There's a whole word out there, and it's time I took a look at what everyone else is writing about. I haven't decided which books or countries yet, but I want to hit all 6 continents (can Antartica claim any writers?) and I'm only claiming the UK if it's a "classic" I never bothered to read in high school (I'm looking at you, Jane Austen).

Stop biting my nails
I'm 31 and I bite my nails and they're a mess and it's ridiculous and it needs to stop now.

Mediate and/or journal 3 times/week
I wasn't sure if I should combine these two actions, meditation and journaling. I realize that they are two completely different things, but I'm not good at meditation and I am good at journaling, so I figure that maybe the journaling will be a jumping off point for the meditation? I've got some research to do on this one.

Expand my bread-making repertoire with 4 new rolls 
I can do challah and the no-knead, but I really want to try different types of bread. I think I can manage four new recipes, no?

Ride the Staten Island Ferry
This one is a bit silly, but I've lived in New York for 6 years now and have never set foot on Staten Island. It's the only borough I have yet to visit, and I should probably do it if I want to consider myself a true New Yorker. Also, it's an incredibly cheap and easily achievable goal, and we all need one of those ;)

What are your goals for 2016?

New Year's Res recaps

2015 is almost over, and I can say without irony or sarcasm that it's been a nearly perfect year. The high points were plenty - booking my first Broadway show, getting engaged on the beach in Mexico, meeting dear friend's children for the first time, wandering around Ireland and Paris with friends and loved ones, starting the wedding planning process, and discovering the wonderful world of Zumba. But don't worry, this isn't a post detailing how awesome my life is (because that would be obnoxious). It's time for me to see how the goals and resolutions I set way back in January have held up - did I make an effort to better my life in any way, or did I just sit on my butt all year and maintain the status quo?

Read more non-fiction
Grade: A  While this wasn't necessarily the hardest goal in the world to achieve (I simply had to switch one type of book for another), I still had to make the effort to do so. And I was more than pleasantly surprised by the results! There's a whole world of non-fiction out there, and much of it is very good. Some of my favorites: Blue Mind (Walace J. Nichols), a look at how water affects evey aspect of our lives; Maphead (Ken Jennings), about the history, development, and current relevance of maps; and The Almost Nearly Perfect People (Michael Booth), an insightful and in-depth study of the people that make up the five Nordic countries.

Volunteer
Grade: D  Outside of an annual one-day charity event and the requisite four-hour CSA shift, I did not volunteer an extra minute of my time. I again found it incredibly difficult to find opportunities that worked in tandem with my schedule, abilities, and interests. Note to self: fix this for 2016.

Get out of my culinary rut
Grade: B+  I was a bit worried that I would fail this goal completely - but then I joined that fateful CSA and was immediately transported into a world of strange and wonderful vegetables. In addition to adding things like beets, kohlrabi, rutabagas, turnips, and bok choi to my weekly home dinner menus, I also forced myself to carry that spirit of innovation when dining out. A previously unfamiliar dish is now one of my go-to Thai orders (Pye Boat's Beef Boat Noodles), and I also found the nerve to try a shark sandwich from a stall at a street fair  - something I cannot wait to eat again next summer.

Make time for doodling
Grade: C  Except for the few nights I played with a new set of watercolor pencils, I really didn't spend any time putting pen to paper. I even bought two books to help me (an adult coloring book and a cartoon drawing guide), but they sadly remain unopened. This is a shame, because I found a lovely sense of relaxation simply fiddling with the watercolors - but every subsequent time I thought about bringing them to the table again, I let myself believe that other matters and concerns took precedence. I will make more of an effort to find some doodling zen in 2016!!

Quality, not price
Grade: B-  Three times this year I made the choice to spend a little more money on a quality product (Pyrex casserole dishes, Tom's shoes, and a London Fog coat) and I'm so glad I did - they're already outlasting their cheaper alternatives, and I notice I take much better care of these items than I would if they were cheap knock-offs. I gave myself the (-) though, because there were a few times in which I caved and bought some cheap t-shirts from Old Navy and a scarf from a street fair. So really, it's all about finding a balance that works for me while keeping in mind that in the long run, it pays to spend a bit more money on quality goods.

Unsubscribe
Grade: B+  I made a HUGE effort to remove myself from every nonessential email list in my gmail account, and except for a couple pesky companies that resurrect themselves every few months (I'm looking at you, overstock.com), I ran a pretty successful campaign. I think this is an ongoing project though - I'll never be fully done with unsubscribing (these email listserves are like cockroaches, I swear), but the push I made this year cleared out a whole bunch. In fact, I'm going to pivot this project over to my junk email account and see if I can't make at least a small dent in the hundreds of promotional and random messages I get each day.

How did you fare on sticking to your resolutions?

New Year's Res - midpoint check-in

Somehow the month of June has come and almost nearly gone, which means that 2015 is almost halfway over - so I guess it's as good a time as any to do a bit of a check-in regarding my New Year's Resolutions. Back in January, I made a few bold statements as to what I was going to work and focus on during the year - and while they weren't major, swooping resolutions,  I did identify five small areas that I felt could use some improvement. So how am I doing?

Read more non-fiction

This one gets a resounding yes! I've read 9 non-fiction books since January, which is about 8 more than I usually do. It may be silly, but I made a really focused attempt at loading up my library loan requests with non-fiction choices. I haven't loved everything I've read (but I don't love every fiction book I read either, because, duh), but pleasant surprises include Man Seeks God (read it for comparative religions), Blue Mind (read it for a scientific look at all the water in your life), The War of Art (read it for a creative kick in the pants), and Maphead (read it for the love of maps). I feel like I opened the door on an entire library full of possibilities and I am beyond glad I did so.

Volunteer

Back in January, I worried that this would be the hardest-to-achieve goal, and sadly, I'm proving myself right. Thus far, I've spent exactly one day volunteering - and while it was for a good cause, it was a recurring gig for an annual event - so not exactly a stretch in terms of developing a relationship with a new cause or group. The difficulties haven't changed - my erratic schedule doesn't allow for a consistent block of time in which to volunteer, and outside of that one aforementioned event, isolated and/or one-day volunteer opportunities are few and far between. That being said, there's a chance that my schedule will even out in the near future, and with that will (hopefully) come a wider range of volunteer options.

Get out of culinary rut
I could be doing a whole lot more to fulfill this goal. While I did make a beef stew for the first time in February AND added pickled daikon to my Just Salad the other day, the Chipoltles and mac & cheeses greatly outweigh any other exciting culinary choices I've made this year. The outlook for at least the rest of the summer is good, however, thanks to my one-third share of this CSA. I've already incorporated turnips into two separate dishes, and even though I'm not new to leafy greens, figuring out how to use the massive amount of kale/swiss chard/spinach/dinosaur leaves is proving to be a really interesting challenge.

Make time for doodling

Even though I haven't quite made it to the "sit at a giant empty desk while I mindfully doodle charming and heartwarming designs on a gorgeous sunlit afternoon" stage (what, your daydreams don't look like that?), I have managed to make some (very small) headway on my next knitting project, I finally bought a gym membership and have logged some much needed hours on the treadmill, and I've spent more than a few afternoons turning off the TV and doing nothing more than curling up with a good book. I'm learning that the times in which I engage in an activity that falls along the lines of what I WANT to do versus what I SHOULD do, I end up happier, more relaxed, and more ready to face whatever I do actually have to do later that day. I still haven't filled a notebook with idle doodles, but I certainly have given myself permission do do something just for me, even if it's for only 15 minutes at a time, and it's made a difference.

Quality over price

I get a B+ for this - I did say no to Payless and yes to a pair of Tom's AND I plunked down a few bucks to get some really nice Pyrex bakeware, but I also fell down the Old Navy rabbit hole and bought a bunch of cheap shirts and dresses. So, I still have a bit of work to do. It's just REALLY hard to walk away from those colorful $5 tank tops!

Unsubscribe
I'm convinced that emails are the cockroaches of the internet. I swear that I hit "unsubscribe" on every last unwanted promotional email that shows up in my inbox and everything is all fine and good for like two wonderful days - and then slowly but surely the "Promotions" tab in my gmail fills up with all sorts of junk. It's a Sisyphean task, but my vigilant unsubscribing has made a noticeable difference, so it's not entirely in vain.

Bonus resolution - Fitbit every day ;)
On January 1, I charged J's old Fitbit that had been sitting in his desk and slapped it on my wrist. Six months later, I've hit the 10,000-step mark 124 times (I use this fantastic goal tracker to log my steps along with the Fitbit iPhone app) and I am a Fitbit fanatic. Irrational choices I've made as a direct result of the tracker on my wrist include: getting off two subway stops earlier to increase the distance I walk to work, choosing to go to the salad place instead of the wrap place simply because the salad place is farther away, and marching in place during commercial breaks to get those last five hundred steps. I will undoubtedly have a separate post solely dedicated to all things Fitbit at the end of the year, but for now I'll say that while I had no idea of the rabbit hole I was throwing myself into, my Fitbit is pretty much my favorite thing ever and I'm considering having it permanently attached to my wrist. (#kidding). Now if you'll excuse me, I have to do some laps around my coffee table.

How are you doing on your new year's resolutions?