Wednesday, March 25, 2015

31 Things I Know To Be True

I turn 31 years old today. And while that is neither a milestone birthday nor even a particularly high number of a birthday, it's still 31 years of me being a living, breathing, human on this planet. And I realized that over this little lifetime of mine I've picked up a few nuggets of wisdom. From waitressing, stage managing, parents, strangers, visiting a few dozen countries, working on way more than a few dozen shows, and simply seeing 2am too many times, this list represents some of the more important (and hard-learned) life lessons I've learned over the years. Granted, I'm not in expert in anything and I'm certainly not done learning and failing and learning from those failures, but in honor of my birthday I share with you 31 bits of knowledge. Here's to (at least) 31 more.

31 Thins I Know To Be True

1).    A lady should always know where her underwear is.
2.)    Everything in moderation. Except ketchup.
3.)    When you're at the tattoo parlor at 2am, it's time to go home.
4.)    Never put your own money into a show.
5.)    Seven vodka crans are usually three too many.
6.)    Everything is funnier without pants.
7.)    If you have to jump a turnstile, do it in heels. You'll feel like a badass.
8.)    Try that new recipe. If you don't like it, order out.
9.)    Never underestimate the power of a thank you.
10.)  There's a reason that empty subway car is empty. Aim for the full one.
11.)  No task is insurmountable if you break it down into manageable chunks and focus on one thing                      at a time.
12.)  Before you say anything, check to make sure the monitors are not on.
13.)  Sometimes life is a marathon, other times it's a sprint. Know which race you're running and plan                    accordingly.
14.)  Hangry is a real emotion. Avoid it at all costs.
15.)  If fishes had wishes they wouldn't be on dishes.
16.)  There's more than one way to spike a rocking chair. Pick the best way for now.
17.)  Hot coffee is best served in a ceramic mug.
18.)  One shoe is not better than no shoe at all. It's actually way more frustrating.
19.)  If you detect an accent, add gratuity.
20.)  Never share comb, car, or husband,
21.)  When in doubt, throw a wet noodle at a map and go where it lands.
22.)  Rules for Small Talk: 1.) Praise. 2.) Inquiry. 3.) Self-deprecation.
23.)  The key to success is wearing the right underwear.
24.)  If you sell someone a slide whistle in Act I, you'd better hear that slide whistle in Act II.
25.)  There is no "I" in "team," but there is one in "cocktail."
26.)  Same bed, different blankets.
27.)  Whether critique or compliment, simply accept it, process it, and move on.
28.)  If it ain't broke, don't fix it. If it is broke, try to fix it. If you can't fix it, ask yourself if you can                               live without it. If the answer is no, then (and only then) get a new one.
29.)  Just because you have the technology doesn't mean you have to use the technology.
30.)  The curtain will go up whether you're ready or not. So just do you job, focus on the preset, and                     make the show happen.
31.)  Skill and ambition will only get you so far. Kindness will take you the rest of the way.

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