Brown Derby Pieshake

Tonight is the 84th Academy Awards, a celluloidal ceremony celebrating the glamor of Hollywood, the size of Harvey Weinstein's checkbook, and the lasting impact of George Clooney's sexy salt-and-pepper hair.

There's drama - will The Help sweep it all away? There's intrigue - will Woody Allen actually show up? There's worry - will James Franco and Ricky Gervais attempt to oust Billy Crystal in the world's most glassy-eyed Host-Off?

For me, the yearly Oscars allow me an evening to sit on the couch, eat unhealthy food and snarkily comment on the clothing, acceptance speeches and overall production (am I the only person who actually liked when Pilobolus shadow-spelled out the nominees? Can we get them back? Or at least to my next birthday party?)

It is therefore with great pride that I'd like to thank the Academy, my parents, God, Oprah, and you, my lovely readers, for reading and tasting with me week after week. You have given this humble pie blogger a voice. A reason to bake. An excuse to eat too much pie. As I stand on this stage, looking out at all of you (oh hey Meryl! Lunch on Tuesday? Lemme check my sched.) I think of that day so long ago four months ago when I was plucked from obscurity and thrust into this crazy, exciting, and altogether delicious world of pie, and I can't believe what an amazing journey it's been. Who knows what the future will hold (although I'd really like to do an indie project that matters) and I can't wait to share my journey with you (of which you'll be able to watch every waking moment on my new Bravo-produced reality show). What's that? Oh! They're telling me I have to wrap up! But there's so many people I forgot to thank! NOW THEY'RE TURNING UP THE MUSIC?? THEN THANK YOU ALL AND HERE'S MY RECI-


Brown Derby Pieshake
*Brown Derby = a chain of restaurants in Los Angeles that became synonymous with the Golden Age of Hollywood
*Derby Pie = a popular pie in Kentucky, named for and made to celebrate the Kentucky Derby
*Milkshake = a sweet drink made with ice cream and other flavorings; a fun treat to make for your Oscars celebration
***Brown Derby Pieshake = my recipe of the week, created in the guise of Jeopardy's Before And After category. Yes, it's a stretch. Just go with it.

Ingredients - yield: 2 pint-sized shakes
4-5 healthy scoops butter pecan ice cream
1/3 cup skim milk
1/2 cup Kentucky bourbon (I used Jim Beam)
2 oz. chocolate chips
2 oz. chopped walnuts
Hershey's chocolate syrup
2 handfuls graham cracker crumbs

How To
Scoop the ice cream into a blender. Add milk, bourbon and chocolate chips. Blend on LOW until everything is mixed and/or you achieve your desired milkshake consistency.

Decoratively squeeze the chocolate syrup onto the inside of the glass; I found that spinning the glass (not the syrup bottle) helps to get a fancy swirl pattern. Sprinkle a handful of graham cracker crumbs into the glass and, while standing over the sink or garbage can, roll the glass so that the crumbs stick onto and cover the chocolate sauce. Let any remaining crumbs settle to the bottom of the glass.

Pour the ice cream mixture into the glass. Top with chopped walnuts. Add a bendy-straw. Comment on the Red Carpet Show in a terrible southern accent. Blame your accent on the bourbon.

Ring in the New Year With a Glass of Pie!

New Year's Eve is a time for glitzy celebrations, making determined proclamations about resolutions you're never going to achieve, and kissing the stranger next to you at midnight because hey, it's only New Year's Eve once a year!

While Champagne is clearly the big winner in the NYE drinks department, there is no law that says you have to spend your entire evening sipping flat bubbly served to you out of giant magnums (or maybe that's just how I spend my NYEs...and this is the part of the post where I discover the true meaning of a new year's eve resolution.) There are a million fun cocktails to make and serve, and if you're hosting a party tomorrow night you've probably already set your drinks menu and purchased all the ingredients, but just in case you like to live on the edge and turn your nose up at "planning" and still have no idea what to serve your guests....here's a fantastic suggestion!

I give to you the Key Lime Pie Martini.

Disclaimer: this drink is a direct ripoff of a martini served at Room Service, a swanky Hell's Kitchen eatery my friends and I tend to frequent. I have never been able to watch the bartenders make the drink or get their exact recipe (Room Service seems to employ the city's slickest bartender ninjas), but after consuming many professionally made Key Lime Pie Martini's and spending a large portion of my evening measuring and tasting different liquors from my father's fantastically stocked cabinet, I have come up with a pretty darn close copy of the martini I have come to know and love. Enjoy!

Ingredients
4 parts Vanilla Vodka
2 parts simple syrup
     *If you don't already have some, bring equal parts sugar and water to a boil, remove from heat and cool
1 part Citrus Vodka
1 part Triple Sec
1 part Frangelico
Squeeze of a lime
Squeeze of a lemon
Graham cracker crumbs, lime wedge to garnish

How to:
Pour all the alcohols, syrup, and lemon and lime squeezes into a cocktail shaker, add about four cubes of ice and mix well.  Run a lime wedge around the rim of your glass and then dip the glass in the graham cracker crumbs. Pour drink mix into the glass, add the lime wedge to garnish.

Enjoy!

I had an assistant for this project! Many thanks to Matt for helping me!