31 Things I Know To Be True

I turn 31 years old today. And while that is neither a milestone birthday nor even a particularly high number of a birthday, it's still 31 years of me being a living, breathing, human on this planet. And I realized that over this little lifetime of mine I've picked up a few nuggets of wisdom. From waitressing, stage managing, parents, strangers, visiting a few dozen countries, working on way more than a few dozen shows, and simply seeing 2am too many times, this list represents some of the more important (and hard-learned) life lessons I've learned over the years. Granted, I'm not in expert in anything and I'm certainly not done learning and failing and learning from those failures, but in honor of my birthday I share with you 31 bits of knowledge. Here's to (at least) 31 more.


31 Thins I Know To Be True

1).    A lady should always know where her underwear is.
2.)    Everything in moderation. Except ketchup.
3.)    When you're at the tattoo parlor at 2am, it's time to go home.
4.)    Never put your own money into a show.
5.)    Seven vodka crans are usually three too many.
6.)    Everything is funnier without pants.
7.)    If you have to jump a turnstile, do it in heels. You'll feel like a badass.
8.)    Try that new recipe. If you don't like it, order out.
9.)    Never underestimate the power of a thank you.
10.)  There's a reason that empty subway car is empty. Aim for the full one.
11.)  No task is insurmountable if you break it down into manageable chunks and focus on one thing                      at a time.
12.)  Before you say anything, check to make sure the monitors are not on.
13.)  Sometimes life is a marathon, other times it's a sprint. Know which race you're running and plan                    accordingly.
14.)  Hangry is a real emotion. Avoid it at all costs.
15.)  If fishes had wishes they wouldn't be on dishes.
16.)  There's more than one way to spike a rocking chair. Pick the best way for now.
17.)  Hot coffee is best served in a ceramic mug.
18.)  One shoe is not better than no shoe at all. It's actually way more frustrating.
19.)  If you detect an accent, add gratuity.
20.)  Never share comb, car, or husband,
21.)  When in doubt, throw a wet noodle at a map and go where it lands.
22.)  Rules for Small Talk: 1.) Praise. 2.) Inquiry. 3.) Self-deprecation.
23.)  The key to success is wearing the right underwear.
24.)  If you sell someone a slide whistle in Act I, you'd better hear that slide whistle in Act II.
25.)  There is no "I" in "team," but there is one in "cocktail."
26.)  Same bed, different blankets.
27.)  Whether critique or compliment, simply accept it, process it, and move on.
28.)  If it ain't broke, don't fix it. If it is broke, try to fix it. If you can't fix it, ask yourself if you can                               live without it. If the answer is no, then (and only then) get a new one.
29.)  Just because you have the technology doesn't mean you have to use the technology.
30.)  The curtain will go up whether you're ready or not. So just do you job, focus on the preset, and                     make the show happen.
31.)  Skill and ambition will only get you so far. Kindness will take you the rest of the way.

tbt: 5 years in NYC

This fall marks 5 years that I've lived in New York City. Mine was the classic moving story - I was working in a small theater in an even smaller town in Connecticut, when a friend called me up sometime in late July and said, "so, are we doing this or not?" I said sure, what the hell, let's see what New York has to offer - and seemingly justlikethat we had ourselves the tiniest little apartment in Astoria that $1450/month (plus first month, plus broker's fee...) could rent. Granted, the justlikethat part was really one torturously long weekend where we saw (I kid you not) 22 different apartments in three different boroughs and at the last minute decided on the 34th St. apartment, and then had one hour to get cashier's checks from our respective banks and make it back to the real estate agent's office before they closed and my future roommate's plane departed back to Louisville and I left to go back to Connecticut to make the next day's matinee performance of Camelot. Oh, and did I mention that somewhere in the middle of all of this my phone gave up on itself and I was forced to sign another 2-year contract because I had just spent all my money on rent and needed the free phone but that I was with T-Mobile at the time and they hadn't gotten the iPhone yet so I had to accept a flip phone and this proved to be a very stressful situation for me so I had a meltdown in the T-Mobile store in which I screamed and cried and threw my credit card at the poor guy behind the counter?

It's funny how those memories become funny and fuzzy over time. That must be what childbirth is like.

Anyway, so some time after getting kicked out of a T-Mobile store on Ditmars, I closed my show in Connecticut and got a ride down to New York from one of the theater's patrons (the perks are few and far between, but sometimes being an artist is nice). Just under two hours later, I arrived in my new apartment with little more than two suitcases and a couple of shopping bags. The bed I'd purchased off of Craigslist was propped up in the corner of the living room, drying out from the seven coats of anti-bed bug spray I'd applied the weekend before. Dani, my roommate, wasn't scheduled to arrive for another two days. We'd made plans for an Ikea run, but that wasn't until later in the week.

So I did what any normal person would do in this situation - I ordered Chinese food, laid on my air mattress, put on some Pushing Daisies via the DVD player on my laptop, and made some lists. We needed everything. Not just big things like a couch and a bookshelf, but those little things that you first assume just come with an apartment. Toilet paper. Paper towels. A shower curtain. Salt and pepper.

And slowly but surely (emphasis on the slowly), I formed the basis of what became my first New York family. We bought the toilet paper, stocked up on paper towels, found a shower curtain that worked perfectly (it even had pockets for extra storage!), bought a couch on Craigslist, and survived it's delivery by the most clichéd creepy-man-in-an-unmarked-white-van I'd ever seen. I booked a show, made some new friends, found a favorite bagel place, landed and eventually quit a crappy waitressing job, went for long walks through new neighborhoods, saw a bunch of plays, found a yoga studio, worked a million different random freelance gigs, and even learned the intricacies of the subway system sans internet (remember that flip phone?).

I'm not exactly sure when it happened, but at some point over the past five years I stopped being Someone Who Lived in New York and started Becoming a New Yorker. Maybe it was the first time I gave correct directions to a lost tourist, maybe it was the first time I saw a Broadway show for free, because I knew a few people on the production team, maybe it was that time I walked 7 miles to work because Hurricane Sandy shut down the subway system, or maybe it was the first time I threw on leggings and cute boots just to walk around the corner to the grocery store, but I eventually began to regard this crazy city as Home. And it felt really good to do so.

The pictures throughout this post are all some of my favorite memories from the past five years of living in New York, but because this is my blog and I can do what I want (and because it wouldn't be a true TBT without photo proof!) here are my top moments of the past five years - enjoy ;)

2009 - A walk through Central Park and a trip to FAO Schwarz on a perfect fall day with two of my newest NYC friends was exactly the intro to the city I needed.

2010 - Even though I secretly knew most of them were just using me for my free couch in a shockingly expensive city, one of the best things about living in New York is that all your loved ones from back home suddenly really want to visit you. I got to play tour guide to two of my besties from Chicago one summer, and we had a fantastic few days taking a carriage ride through the park, shopping in SoHo, and training it all the way down to Coney Island just so we could dip our toes into the Atlantic.

2011 - We called it BridgeWalk 2011 - three bridges (Queensboro, Brooklyn, and Manhattan Bridges, respectively), two tickets to the Transit Authority Museum, a few slices of lunchtime pizza, and an immensely fun day.

2012 - Three words: Hurricane Survival Kit.

2013 - A lost phone number, a missing voicemail, a confusing text message, and finally, a blind date at a local wine bar led to my favorite kiss on my favorite New Year's with my favorite guy.

2014 - It's all about the little moments: a pleasant walk to work, a quick bagel date with an old friend, a particularly moving yoga class, a quiet night of Netflix on the couch, brunch at the diner around the corner. Though I have no immediate plans to move, I can't say for sure how long I'll stay in this city (maybe just another year or two, maybe forever - will you let me know if you find my crystal ball?) but I know that years from now when I look back on this period of my life, the brightest memories will be those of the seemingly ordinary and mundane. Moving here was the craziest and best decision I've ever made, and I cannot wait to see what the future will hold.

week of awesomeness - days 05-07

Sometimes, your week becomes so lovely and pleasant and so sincerely rad that you just don't have time to blog about it. Which is probably ok, because it's not like too many people even read this thing (thanks, dad!) But then Sunday night turns into Monday morning, and you wake up and it's chilly and rainy and grey for billionth time this year, and you look back on your week and smile.

because you took a rainy walk to an art museum

and had a lovely little solo lunch at a new bao shop

and added another mile to the running log

and went to a Mets game

and froze your butt off, but it was ok because you had beer and Shake Shack

and watched your boyfriend remember to water the plants

and took a leisurely walk to a flea market underneath the Pepsi sign

and finally tackled that tower of old magazines on the coffee table

and then curled up on the couch with Indian takeout and episodes of The Americans.


So here's to you, Week of Awesomeness. Thanks for letting me play ;)

week of awesomeness - day 04

If the past three days were about getting out and doing something, then today was about slowing down and enjoying the stillness. A quiet cup of coffee in the morning. A slow jog down a sunny street. A tough but meditative afternoon yoga class. A cooling lunchtime salad, giving myself the time and permission to simply enjoy the tactile sensation of chopping vegetables. A small glass of wine, because, hey, it's five o'clock somewhere. Ironically, the weather was absolutely stunning today (or at the very least, not cold/rainy/snowy/vortexy), and yet I spent the least amount of time outdoors. Instead of searching in vain for the signs of spring, I needed to open the windows, flush out the last of the winter doldrums, and let the cool spring air find me.

week of awesomeness - day 01

I am without employment this week, but I say that without negativity or resentment. Small chunks of unemployment come with the freelance territory, and I have experienced a blessedly small lack of work in the past seven years. Adding to my positive outlook is the fact that I am without a job for this week, and this week only - I have a few small gigs lined up over the rest of the month, and then launch into a massive project at the beginning of May - so really, I'm on more of a forced staycation.

Taking an exotic trip wasn't in the budget this time around (and really, I did go to Belize not that long ago), but just because I'm trying to save my pennies doesn't mean I have to live like a hermit. So this week, I am allowing myself one purely-for-fun, slice of awesomeness per day. Today's mission? Bake a loaf of bread. From scratch. Why? Because why not? Oh and also because I recently cashed in some gift cards and bought myself my first ever dutch oven (Martha Stewart, 6-quart, in red), and apparently that's how you bake bread these days.

I followed this blogger's suggestion and used this recipe for No-Knead Bread (based on the original from Sullivan St. Bakery, and it turned out wonderfully. The Week of Awesomeness is officially off to a great start.